A couple of months ago a six week journey, called Alive in You, ended and preparations to make
a move to Nashville began. A month ago, that move happened. The magnitude of these experiences
happening so close in proximity to each other has been a struggle… but mostly a gift. It has been (and
still is) a struggle for several reasons, but the most two influential reasons are fear and insecurity. The
two are, undoubtedly, linked in an intimate fashion. Though they are central hub of my anxiety; they are also the reason why I can consider all of this a gift.
Up until a week ago, I lived my whole life in the great city of Lafayette, LA. I’m confident that I
will always call that place home. But up until the move, I don’t think I’ve ever had to fully rely on God
and lean into the reality of His goodness so much. Leaving the place where all of my friends, family, and every possible security were rooted was probably the most difficult thing I’ve had to endure (and am still enduring). However, during this time I have had firsthand experience of the beautiful Truth that my faith teaches me: that darkness is never unaccompanied; that the darkness of this life is never like the darkness of an unlit, windowless room. The darkness in life is more like a shadow. Shadows exist
because of the light that surrounds it. Have I been afraid? Yes. In fact, some days I still am afraid. So
since I’ve moved here, Christ’s command to the disciples in Matthew 6:8 has never felt so real to me:
"Take nothing for the journey except a staff--no bread, no bag, no money in your belts.”
(Confession: I brought more than a staff, lol.) It has been real not because I brought (or in my case didn’t bring) any of those particular things, but because I left behind many of the things l relied on for comfort and security besides God.
This has been the twisted beauty of it all: the things which I love have been released from my
hands and that is where growth in my relationship with the Lord has begun sprouting. The things I loved (friends, family, familiarity, etc.) were by no means bad. They were just the things I leaned on instead of God, and though I honestly believe God works through them, they are not Him. So have the fears and insecurity suddenly vanished because of this insight? No. However, it is because of these shadows that I’ve been directed towards the shadow’s ultimate source: the light.